"If I can't ......I'd rather die!"

Think about it. What in this world would possibly drive you to make such a statement?

Fill in the blank space of course and then try it on for size.
"If I can't ......I'd rather die!"

What might fill in the blank space? Thinking about it for a few moments and thinking about some of the things that drive our lives, I wrote a few possibilities. Yours might be listed here or be totally different. Some are slightly humorous, others more serious.

"If I can't lose weight, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't see my kids again, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't get out of this mess, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't get a decent meal, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't figure out these taxes, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't see the Buckeyes (or your team) win, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't find a job, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't get this right, I'd rather die!"

"If I can't be with (him/ her) I'd rather die!"


So, what do you think? Interesting to consider.

Today those same words were spoken to me and caught me off guard. They were spoken very sincerely, with just the right amount of emotion. It was not theatrical, not meant to be dramatic at all. Those words accurately expressed the individual's heart.

The man who spoke them is perhaps, unique. He is a Taiwanese national living here in Belize. He has completely given up his former life and become a true sold-out follower of Jesus Christ. His wife left him because of his strong devotion to God. He continues on. He has no means of support. I am not sure how he ever eats, yet to look at his tall thin, wiry frame, it does not appear that eating is that important to him.

When I listen to him speak, in his broken English, one thing is clear. He has a compelling conviction to share God's Word. Anywhere, with anyone. Truly.

He has not been to a Bible school but he know his Bible.

He has a Mandarin - English Bible as well as another Bible he dutifully carries with him. To peer inside it is to glance at the ruminations of someone who has sat at the feet of Jesus.

When he speaks, he shares from his great learning, from his personal study of God's love letter. He has insights that can only be explained as coming from intense personal times before the Lord. I have seen him diligently studying and have heard him carefully seeking to make clear the treasures he has gained.

This kind-hearted, compassionate gentleman told me today,
"If I eat or not, it is okay."
"Where I stay is no problem."

Those were enough to challenge me. His humble acceptance of where life has him right now is an 'in-your-face' indictment to those who believe we must have things to be just this way and that way.

So what did he say to fill in the blank? What could follow those statements in such a powerful way as to still capture my thoughts hours later?


"If I can't do ministry, I'd rather die!"


Simple. Focused. Powerful.


I arranged for him to share at a local Nazarene church. He took my hand and did something else that humbled me. It was one of those things that you wish a grown man would not do, but it clearly expressed the gratitude of his heart for serving God. As this thin Taiwanese man grasped my hand, he knelt down in front of me on both knees and bowed.

I wanted to pull him to his feet. I wanted to tell him that he has no reason to thank me so profoundly. Yet, I could not, because his heart was showing once again.

I remain challenged and humbled...how about you?

Ray